I've been posting a lot lately. Maybe cause I'm simply bored to distraction...

Home, no, scratch that...my parent's house is a funny place, now that I'm out of it for a long time. The first time I come home to check my mail, and my mom is actually cordial, even friendly to me. I even got a smile out of her, a genuine, real smile..not just a "I want you to do something and you have to because I told you to" smile. and yes, she's asked me to do a lot of things when I'm home, but I'm willing to do it, because it's being helpful. She's had a lot of trouble with her left knee, and my sister just had surgery on her right knee, so between the two of them (dad's out of town at a work/school conference thing) little is getting done at home. So I've gladly carried down the garbage/recycling to the street and picked up the dog hair sticking to the chair legs and vacuumed the porch. and I actually got a grateful thank you for it. I almost don't know what to do with this new mom, and she's even been in pain lately and not been yelling. maybe cause my sister is in pain and my mom doesn't want to bother her. maybe it's cause I'm not there anymore. Which is a good thing, although I have to admit I've gone home (oops)...to my parents' house every day just for company. It gets a little lonely at the House when all there is to do is watch tv and there's nothing decent on. I wonder what would happen if I just sat in my chair and spent the time pondering. I like to ponder, but mostly as an excuse not to say anything when I'm with other people. Pondering on my own time isn't as enjoyable, cause there's no one to ask what I'm thinking about. And inevitably I just lasp into daydreaming, and that is just a complete waste of time. It's much easier to ponder at starbucks or in the woods, or when the kids I babysit are all quiet and asleep. I've always needed some background noise to really make my thoughts come out in utter genius. Even when I write my papers, I need music blaring in my headphones to have something to specific to block out, and then my best work is produced. If I tried to write all of this at home with no noise around at all, I wouldn't even get a sentence out, but these posts are usually done in the noise and distraction of the library as I'm jumping up and down to help patrons and answer the phone.